| I'm Hopeless And Greyed Out... I Guess For Me There's Just No Hope.. |
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| wow long time no update |
[Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
@ 10:25pm] |
I think I am going to start using this again.
Ever since my accident i have needed something to write shit down in cause i STILL dont have my memory back yet and it will be 5 months since my accident this sunday..... GAY!
well I think i have finally met the man of my dreams.
Joseph James Griffin <3
He is amazing in every single way and he knows how to treat me and would never hurt me or betray me in anyway. He's 110% faithful and means every word that he tells me. I love that boy to death. Words can even express the love i have for him. He came and saw me everday after my car accident, I mean EVERYDAY. Its amazing the things i have been through with that boy and we always seem to come out on top!
<3 9.11.05 <3
"Have you ever loved someone so much
You'd give an arm for
Not the expression
No, literally give an arm for
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armor
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm him"
Love You baby
"take a look at my boyfriend,
he's the only one i got."
"I know I'm young but if i had to choose you or the sun,
I'd Be.... One nocturnal son of a gun!"
haha im so silly..... but i love him
:)
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| hahah wow |
[Thursday, August 25th, 2005
@ 7:31pm] |
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music |
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taking back sunday-you're so last summer |
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I just realized how immature and moronic i was with all those dumb entires i made before the one i posted about my accident hahaha
I WAS quite the drama queen hahaha
wow
im gunan delete those when i get the chance.. its totally NOT me at all.... And personally i dont wanna look at them.
i dont come on here often anyways... but yeah
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| I got in a bad car accident... fucking yay |
[Thursday, July 28th, 2005
@ 3:06pm] |
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Ok, so im sure you have all heard about the accident with me and my friend Priscilla.. here we go ~>
Me and Priscilla were comming out of the Friendlys parking lot and we got in the left turn only lane and we had a GREEN ARROW... we took a left... and its a very wide turn. Out of no where a girl ran a red light and hit the passanger side of our car doing at least 45... she wasnt paying attention... didnt even attempt to stop... didnt hit the brakes or swerve.. NOTHING.. and she says we ran a red light?? How about she wasnt even paying attention... so shes saying she could see that she had a green light.. but not a car 15 feet in front of her??? what a moron!
i hit the windshield and spider-webbed the glass... my head is indented in the passanger side windshield but i didnt remember it... i blacked out for prolly 30 seconds. after the car hit i remember my arms being up in the air and i couldnt move cause my body was numb... i thought i was paralized. The car stop spinning and i looked at priscilla and i told her she was bleeding from her head...she hit the windshield and the steering wheel hard.. she has a burn/cut across her chest and im so glad she wasnt hurt worse.. but it still scares me seeing her marks.. i wish she wasnt hurt at all.... then i felt water on my legs and i looked down and blood was everywhere... i was literally covered from head to toe in blood... every inch of my body.. so i asked her where is was comming from (cause i didnt think it was from me for some reason) and she went hysterical.. then my vision went in my left eye cause the blood and i had glass in both eyes and pieces of the airbag... these little beads from it. I looked in the side mirror and i saw i was gushing blood from my head, nose and mouth.... then i panicked (sp?) I started screaming that i had to talk to my mom and some nurse lady came and put a towel on my head and called my mom.. i was shaking so bad then i went into shock again and my body was numb... it was terrifying. then i freaked cause i didnt know where priscilla was and i couldnt see... then the ambulence came and put us both in neck braces and on strechers and we were taken to the trama unit at the lahey clinic.. by this time i clamed myself down and i was quite cause i didnt know what was going on... i thought it was all a dream...they wiped me down 3 times to get the blood off before they could even start working on me... they did chest and pelvis xrays, they had to give me 2 IVS, they cleaned out my eyes with like pressure water and i couldnt see cause my contacts were taken out. They slowly cleaned as much glass off me as the could, i had it everywhere, my arms , my neck, face, chest, legs, feet, back... everywhere... then a plastic sureon came in and stiched my head up... and he took out pieces of glass... one piece that he took out of my cut started squirting blood... i cut an artery in my forehead.They took xrays of my hand, finger, and my leg too.... they didnt want to give me a cat scan cause they werent sure if i needed one (come to find out at the doctors 2 days later he thinks i fractured the bridge of my nose.. go figure) The accident happened at exactly 640ish at night and i was in the trauma unit unit about 1 am. I was soooo happy priscilla was ok.. she kept thinking it was her fault... its not and i love her to death.... i would rather i get hurt worse then the other people in the accident and well i guess i got what i wanted...i kinda deserve it i guess? idk
grade 2 concusion, 40 stiches in my forehead, I cut a main artery in my forehead my pinky is fractured in 2 spots and the fingernail got ripped off, my whole left leg is one big bruise and swollen, the brige of my nose might be fractured, my tooth is broken, and my other front theeth are damaged..... i have pretty deep cuts all over my right arm
I look a lot better now.. i get my stiches out friday but ive been in and out of the doctors all week and i will be for prolly the rest of the year.. they doctors were saying i prolly need plastic surgey at age 18/19 but as long as i look normal again i dont care... im so stressed and i hate looking in the mirror... im so ugly. i want this to be over with.. period. it hurts to walk and my back hurts and i have pounding headaches... my short term memory is gone cause the concusion and i get frustrated really easy.. but idk im finding out who my turn friends are through all of this and i thank you all for being there for me... 100nd i love you all for it....
This whole experience is not only killing me physically, but emotionally as well.... ive been crying cause i look in the mirror and i hate what i see.... i have anxiety attacks in the car now and i freak when anything is close to the car... or if theres car accidents on TV.. i start crying.. it sucks... im not exactly loving life right now.. but i sure as hell am happy to be alive
dont ever take life for granted and never end things with a friend on a bad note... cause you never know if theyll be here the next day... the only reason im typing this now is because i wore my seatbelt.. if not i would have either gone through the windshield or out my door and run over by a passing car..
Priscilla your my angel... im so glad that youre ok and that were alive.. i never want to lose you and i love you more then anything...I will be here for you always and forever ♥
feel free to comment me or call me or even visit.. cause im getting lonely and bored.. and the more alone i am at home.. the more depressed i get thinking about all this....I never thought it would happen to me....NEVER
wear your seat belt ... it does save lives.. i cant imagine what id look like if i wasnt wearing mine...
Ill post pics later.....
♥ Alicia Rose
later
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| This fits... So perfect |
[Monday, February 28th, 2005
@ 10:16pm] |
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 Depressed and Alone |
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Whiskey Lullaby |
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This Fits..... SO perfect...ugh I hate my life...OFFICALLY
He put her out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
He broke her heart, she spent her whole life tryin' to forget
We watched her drink her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night.
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love him 'til I die
And when we buried her beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much he blamed himself
For years and years he tried to hide the whiskey on his breath
He finally drank his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind,
Until the night.
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
Clinging to her picture for dear life
We laid him next to her beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
im so heart broken...
i think im giving up...
There's No point... I'm Giving Up Slowly...♥Love ♥
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| comment to be added |
[Sunday, December 12th, 2004
@ 7:52pm] |
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My prerogative |
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** Comment To Be Added!!**
~Ali
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